it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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