your room smells of hookers.
And success
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
