so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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