***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
