We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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