I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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