So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
