i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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