This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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