chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
