So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
This can only be settled by a dance off.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
