The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm too high and old for this...
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
