By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
