Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I could fuck to npr.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
