No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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