I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize