Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
