I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize