loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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