i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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