All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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