i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
So vagazzling was a success
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
