i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
