Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
