what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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