My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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