I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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