Define "chronic" masturbator.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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