I need help removing her.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
