He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I see more hoeing in ur future
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