Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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