They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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