Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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