Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize