So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
