I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
