I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
