Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
