it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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