so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Randomize
