FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
