This dress was meant to end up on your floor
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
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