I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
