dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
