He disabled his match.com account in front of me
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
