'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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