R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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