Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
