cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
