i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
