Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Pants are for mortals
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
