the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
