Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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