areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
There's always time for handjobs
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
