What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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