Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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