how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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