If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
