all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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