forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
