another moral hangover. fuck.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
