I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
It's Friday. Sex?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
