Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize