I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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