We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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