I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
