Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
