You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
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