if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
