i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
