i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
His nipple licking is glorious
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